Sunday, December 20, 2009
Well, none of my picks came through, but I'm willing to try again for 2010. Anyone else in with me? Maybe you can enlighten us with some of the rules, Thom. How many picks do we make?
Friday, December 18, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
I got fired yesterday. For real. It came out of nowhere, I walked in to what I thought was my normal weekly meeting with my boss, and there's the HR director sitting there, telling me they're making some changes to the therapist position, and one of those changes is that I'm "dismissed." They gave me a sheet describing what I've been doing wrong, mainly that they think I'm not doing enough to push the kids to work on their issues, and that my skills and experience aren't a good match for the severity of the kids we work with. I've never been written up or given any kind of formal warning about my job performance before this. I got an above average rating on my yearly evaluation in May. However that evaluation was written by my old boss who loved me. But she quit in june and was replaced by a new boss who apparently does not love me and thinks I'm a bad therapist. I had to clean out my office and leave immediately, I couldn't say goodbye to anyone. My coworker, who is black, has also been written up twice in the last two weeks and is about to be fired also. She's convinced the agency is discriminating against non-latino people, and wants me to join her in a lawsuit against them. When I was fired they offered me a $1200 severance package if I sign a contract agreeing not to sue them. The fact that they offered me that shows that I do probably have grounds to sue them, or else they wouldn't be bribing me to shut up. However, I'm not really a vengeful person and would much rather just take the money and move on, instead of putting effort into a lawsuit that probably won't go anywhere. I don't want to work in a place where I'm not appreciated anyway.
Obviously I was crushed when this all happened, but I'm trying to look on the bright side now. I hadn't been happy with my job for the last few months anyway, I didn't like my boss, the commute and the hours were killing me, and I agree the kids deserve a better therapist than me. So I'm excited to look for a new job where I fit in and can use my strengths and excell. Ideally with a much shorter commute, or a commute into the city so I'll have a reason to then move into the city. I'm also kinda excited about all this free time stretching out in front of me, I'll finally have time to go to the gym everyday, clean the house, hang out with people on weeknights, and all the other things I never had time for before. So, I'm kinda at a crossroads in terms of what to do with my life, but hopefully it'll work out for the best. Let me know if anyone knows of any social work jobs.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Questions to answer:
Where? City/Suburbs? House? Bars? My potential place in the city?
When? I'll be busy from noon-3pm on Saturday and in the city already, if that matters.
What? Drinking is always fun, but I always enjoy just the company of friends, and so far we have me, Mike, Sara, Thom, Mark, Tim, Charles (& Janet, I assume). I think I want to see Charles drunk, and Janet. And Sara. And everyone.
Gifts? No. Well, maybe a drink. And a hug and a smile.
Dinner? Sara suggested Rainforest Cafe, which is good, but I'm not tied to it by any means. Personally, my favorite restaurant is Cheesecake Factory. And maybe we can go somewhere that takes coupons to make paying the bill that much more complicated!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Hah. Can't find us out on my uncle's farm in southern IL, can you, Jesus?
I wish Jesus was here to help me cool my swamp ass. Instead, I'll have to struggle to funnel the a/c into my shorts. Nice.
At the Memphis Zoo. It's all Egyptian because Memphis is named after Memphis, Egypt. Highlight of the trip. Three words: Otters fighting Gibbons.
Don't let his cuteness fool you. He's got like 10 friends that'll beat your punk ass. It happened to a bunch of gibbons. Seriously.
Where you get herpes.
Stay classy, Conway.
While Mike was getting drunk off shitty booze, I chose to play it cool and just have some apple juice.
Mike tuning his guitar for NerdHero.
The competition was fierce for champion Nerd. Mike won.
Lowlight of the trip: Civil Rights Museum where Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed. My fault. I heard it was good. It was tons of reading and standing.
Note: it looks like Steve is saying something about the Motel sign, and I imagine it's something racist and offensive like, "Hey, I bet there's a vacancy now." Get it?
We ate at a famous burger joint downtown called Huey's. The burgers were good, but the best part was shooting toothpicks into the foam tile ceiling as you can Steve demonstrating. Beth approves.
We then stopped at the Peabody Hotel downtown to see the ducks that live in their fountain in the lobby. Don't ask.
On the roof of the Peabody. Nice photo ruined by a bunch of morons.
That's better. That's the Mighty Mississippi/Big Muddy/Old Man River in the background.
We found a time machine and jumped back to 1931 so I could get a black and white photo of downtown. AWESOME!
When we returned, we found that somehow we'd altered the space-time continuum so that all drinks only came in gallon buckets. AWESOMER! If only that were true and we weren't just on Beale Street drinking a gallon of booze in the middle of the day at a bar with goats...
Another great photo ruined by those same morons. Mike kept the bucket-o-booze.
At Rendezvous waiting for our table, which was reserved under the name "Bieznootz," per usual. And mispronounced, per usual. "By-ez-notz." Morons.
Back to Beale Street for a night photo.
If you want to know how big that thing is, go find out! It's got its own website! Bible Belt Five!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
2 - Otters are the greatest thing ever
3 - Driving long distances sucks
4 - A 4 and a half ton ford truck will sustain no damage when flattening a Honda Civic hatchback. The hatchback will be totalled.
Friday, July 10, 2009
I am currently not "in the city" (Austin is half-suburb half-city), though i have new apartment and it is perched quite lovely in the trees! cawww!
So um, to Thom - sorry I missed your call. I've been working 9-5 this summer in our Arabic program, then I walk home in 104 degree Fahrenheit and pass out on my futon.
Then I awaken at midnight, to have a cup of coffee, grade homework, dance and then try to bang my head against the wall for not resisting the vicious cycle of pass-out naps, midnight coffee and banging my head against the wall.
It's not likely i'll be able to get to Chicago this summer - our midsummer "break" is saturday and sunday, and then we have only a week and half between the end of the program and the beginning of the fall semester. yikes! right?
Peace out to y'all in yo' comfortably below-hundred-degree North.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Biological fuel cell - A device with a lot of useful potential for implanted devices, such as heart monitors or blood sugar detectors (for people with diabetes). Not so bad, though a little odd if you start thinking about 10 gallon drums filled with blood to power heavy machinery.
Then you get into the nightmare fuel:
Carniverous Clock - A clock that powers itself by capturing insects, dumping them in a vat of bacterial solvents and harvesting their life force to power its terrible difference engine.
The matrix wasn't THAT far off, it looks like. Except in the future the robots wont bother keeping us alive, they'll just be breeding us like cattle and tossing us into big dissolution vats after sucking out our blood for their fuel cells.
I'm going to go cry in a corner now.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
If I had to guess who's going to go next, I'd say Nelson Mandela or Queen Elizabeth II. They're both so OLD.
My dark horse in the race would be Kirstie Alley.
The person I most wish would die: Dick Cheney or Fred Phelps (of the Westboro Baptist Church).
Others that are likely to die: Wilford Brimley, Joan Rivers, Keith Richards and Mick Jagger
Friday, June 26, 2009
2. Kit Kat (close second)
3. 100 Grand
Non-chocolate (this was tough)
1. Jelly Bellies
2. Skittles (all kinds, but has anyone seen those chocolate skittles? WTF?)
Malted milk balls
Those swirly multi-colored lolli-pops
Lifesaver Wint-O-Green mints
Any candy stolen from children
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Get ready to get puked on, Memphis.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Monday, June 01, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The first blonde turns to the second and says "those look like bear tracks, we should be careful"
The second looks and says to the first "No, those are clearly deer tracks, we should be fine"
While they were arguing, a train came and killed them both.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
1. ordered food at a drive thru window (talking in that intercom freaks me out)
2. taken my car in for an oil change or maintenance (my dad does it for me)
3. called information to get a phone number or address
4. used a coffee maker
5. done taxes
6. washed my own car (although I have washed other people's at fundraisers)
7. used power tools, or maybe any tools, I can't really remember
8. mowed a lawn
9. been to a dry cleaners or travel agent
10. ordered in any type of food besides pizza (chinese, sandwiches, etc.)
I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of it right now. I'll let you know if I accomplish any of these this year.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
On the one hand: it's scary that even whores are having to start offering discounts to stay in business.
On the other hand: discounted whores! Who wants to take a trip with me to the rheinland?
Berlin's "Pussy Club" has attracted media attention with its headline-grabbing "flat rate" -- a 70-euro admission charge for unlimited food, drink and sex between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.
Happy hour, indeed.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
... but not as good as Mike and his stache.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
(sorry for the excessive caps)
Monday, March 23, 2009
The above was one of the highlites of last week. Taking advantage of a coworker bringing in a five pound bag of gummy bears and the knowledge that freshly bitten gummies have adhesive properties akin to superglue, I endevoured to construct a chain of gummy torsos that was at least six feet in length.
It's made of over 300 gummy torsos, weighs half a pound, and is six feet, one inch in length. The one in the photo above broke when she tried to hold it above her head; it has since been reaffixed.
To make it I had to eat 300 gummy bear heads and feet, again roughly half a pound, and you had better believe I felt sick afterwards.
These are the things that I do to entertain myself nowadays. Anyone else doing anything particularly exciting? I know at least one grounder is building 3000 piece puzzles in their spare time.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Well, I made it through the album and I think I only had to go to the bathroom and vomit twice. Cornell's two previous solo efforts have been just that, solo with him on guitar and vocals, with some other chumps filling the other instruments as needed. I was expecting a little bit of the same thing.
Good lord. Most of the album is all synthesized instruments that you would find on MTV. After I listened to the first song, I thought maybe he was just experimenting with ONE song and that the rest would fall back into form. WRONG. Track after track... it went on and on. This is one I'm probably going to be deleting from the computer.
RIP Chris Cornell.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Friday, March 06, 2009
For those who want a general overview:
The trouble all started when a young female intern began to spend several hours each day with Kenji, testing his systems and loading new software routines. When it came time to leave one evening, however, Kenji refused to let her out of his lab enclosure and used his bulky mechanical body to block her exit and hug her repeatedly. The intern was only able to escape after she had frantically phoned two senior staff members to come and temporarily de-activate Kenji.
“Despite our initial enthusiasm, it has become clear that Kenji’s impulses and behavior are not entirely rational or genuine,” conceded Dr. Takahashi.
Ever since that incident, each time Kenji is re-activated, he instantaneously bonds with the first technician to meet his gaze and rushes to embrace them with his two 100kg hydraulic arms. It doesn’t help that Kenji uses only pre-recorded dog and cat noises to communicate and is able to vocalize his love through a 20 watt speaker in his chest.
Final quote: “This is only a minor setback. I have full faith that we will one day live side by side with, and eventually love and be loved by, robots"
I hope he names his next robot "Skynet".
Skynet just wants to love us too much.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday: already mentioned I had to go to work for virtually nothing (every institute day is considered by at least some of the faculty every time we have one to be a waste. This time I was the one who felt that way). Then, in the evening, I hung out with my friend Mark and played Wii. During the night, I had a whole Jack's pizza and then two hours later started feeling sick to my stomach. Fast forward to a few hours later early, early Saturday morning and I'm spending hours in the bathroom with pizza coming out both ends. If you think it's unpleasant to imagine, just think how it was for me. I had to basically time the rotation of which was I was facing the toilet. I don't know if you can blame the pizza or some 24-hour flu bug, but I can tell you that this wouldn't be the first time I got the flu this year, which brings me to the first thing that pisses me off:
Let me explain. If it were flu of the avian variety, I would at least have something to blame - avians. I would probably die from it, but that's to the avian flu's credit. Regular flu is more torturous. It leaves you on the edge of survival only so it can get some joy out of striking again later after you've recovered. I believer that if the flu ever kills you, it's purely by accident. Now, I never get the flu, ever. This year I have had it twice. If this were avian flu, I would've probably died and not had to deal with it a second time. So regular flu, if you can't finish the job, don't come and stay in my body for a measly 24 hours. Much less, don't bother coming back for a second try only a month later. Seriously, a month? You were just here. All you did this time was waste one of my precious three days of weekend, which bothered me more than having to puke up supreme pizza a few times (it comes out orange). That brings me to the next thing that pisses me off:
With the three days of weekend I was expecting, I was going to get a lot done, one of them being my arch enemy every year: taxes. Now, let's take a moment to mention that if the flu had done its job and killed me, I would've been free from taxes, but that's another argument. Every year, I struggle with my taxes because they are a major pain in the ass. For the first time, however, I thought I was going to have it easy because I only worked two different jobs this year, thus decreasing the number of W-2s I had to deal with, and sold very few stocks (I'll get to the bad economy). I also was apparently under the mistaken impression that I was going to be getting money back on my taxes this year for a change. Last year I paid a lot, and it seemed like an anomoly because I had made money from stocks, but I did not this year. So what's my reward? Instead of paying $500 like I paid last year, I get to pay three times that much this year. FOR A GOVERNMENT THAT'S JUST GOING TO GIVE IT AWAY TO A BUNCH OF GODDAMNED MORON BANKS. So I waste my time toiling over how to get the numbers right and checking and rechecking and pulling my hair out and asking my dad all sorts of stupid questions, only to give it all away to a government that doesn't check its own numbers. I swear to God.
Next: The economy.
You all know I'm "cheap." Of course, I always argue I walk the line and am "thrifty." Forgetting that argument, I want to explain the basis for my spend-thrift ways. I have always thought of myself as more mature for my age and very forward-thinking. Case in point, I have had retirement in mind since the age of about 8. Anyone else do that? I hadn't even started working yet and I already understood the importance of compiling savings. The basic logic behind all of my tightwad spending was the (until recently) dependable logic that the stock market, over time, goes up. I knew that the more I saved, the more I could invest, and the sooner I invested, the larger, stronger, and more diversified my portfolio would be, virtually guaranteeing me a massive amount of money barring ANY WORLDWIDE ECONOMIC COLLAPSE. Now, what do I get for being responsible by putting my money in investments and not spending it? A kick in the teeth and in the wallet. I lost so much money this last year it's unbelievable, at least for someone my age and level of income. Kind of blows when I think about the fact that if the government had just done what I did when I was 8 - saved - then we wouldn't be in this crisis. It's just one more reason for me to think about starting my own utopia.
So that sums up my weekend. I was going to write about the chicken costume today, but because of the flu I was more compelled to take the time to write about my rantings because if I didn't, you were going to read about it in the paper tomorrow. It would be something to the tune of, "Teacher punches everyone in the face. Fired." Except substitute "punches" with "kills" and "Fired" with "Utopia." So the chicken costume story will have to wait, I'm sorry to say, although most of you have heard it already. It's really just for you, John.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Thom: I'm a writer! What do you expect!?
Mike: I need somewhere to vent my frustrations at the world/ostrich raptors.
John: Bleep. Bloop. Blip. Windows error: 404.
Sara: This blog needs to be more sparkly for me to frequent it more.
Randall: I'm too busy snowboarding, taking pictures, "architecturing" to check this blog.
Weinberg: We only have internet access in two places in Kansas City: the Internetmobile that inconveniently provides roaming service away from your home, and the library that provides internet service at a geriatric pace of a 14.4 modem. It takes longer to load a page than it does to draw it.
Brad: I'm just too busy banging my hot girlfriend that Waple hasn't even met.
There you go. That's everyone's explanation.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 05, 2009
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Well, most of you have, I guess. John - is there a way for us to hook up and play against each other in stuff? It'd be awesome if I could get Mike and Thom and Sara here to play against you, too.