Sunday, February 26, 2006


Shouldn't we add steve and ric to this? I say we not let them join till we get a 2/3 majority vote. And of course we'll need to vote on whether or not to accept or reject the 2/3 majority vote process, and given any rejections, a proposal for a new method. Only then can we vote on the additions of said members. I vote against the process, since it's an unnecessary piece of the puzzle and hence also vote against steve and ric. Mostly because voting is for losers.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Happy V-day...

When the boogey man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Thanks COMPLETELY to Whitney- OH EM GEE.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.

Jack Bauer let the dogs out.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

Deaf people listen to Jack Bauer.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

Monday, February 13, 2006


And so forth. Anyways, I'm leaving in two weeks for Alexandria, where I'll be for 2.5 months, after which I may be staying for a longer period of time in another scary country or doing whatever I can to avoid suburban America. I have a strange aluminum taste in my mouth that i have to get rid of.
So if you guys (namely you guys in Chicago) want to do something in Chicago sometime within the next 2 weeks, let's-talk-why-not. Until then, etc.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

How I got a new iPod for $11.14

Some of you may know that my one-year old iPod has been giving me fits for the last couple months. It's only a year old and was in previously good condition until the hard drive started going loopy on me. I have also met other people with the same generation iPod that are having the same damn problem. I was worried and wondering what I'd do without a fully functioning pod. Well. After expressing this problem to a couple of my friends, one of them alerted me to the fact that since it was purchased from CostCo, that I could simply bring it in and get a new one. Of course, I was very skeptical. He told me stories though of how friends of his had gone in with items -- old flat-screen monitors that no longer worked and walked out with two brand-spanking new monitors; even a guy with a cd he purchased there and said to them "I hate this cd" and they gave him his money back. So today, with receipt and membership card in hand, I went in, gave up my baby Murray for adoption (or so it felt), kissed him goodbye, and kissed my $304.50 (bling bling) hello. I then proceeded to high-step/dance my way around the store flaunting my money and filled out the form for my iPod. "Item #: 911614. Item description: Apple iPod music player 30 gigs of awesomeness yeah." After paying the difference of 11 american dollars I had my new iPod. Not only new, but better. It is a video iPod, 30 gigs, and replaces my uncolored 20 gig unvideo iPod. Thank GOD for CostCo. If ANYONE here is considering buying any electronics in the future and has a CostCo near them, the membership is $45 per year and that includes their super awesome warranty that lets you return any items (other than food) that suck. I'm ecstatic.
Now here is a picture of an angry black woman:

She is angry because she did not purchase her iPod at CostCo.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Holy rusted metal!

That was the most incredible play last night, by an IU grad nonetheless. Go Steelers!

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Chuck Norris is watching us, Chuck Norris is watching us... Chuck Norris is watching us from a distance.

I heard they interviewed Chuck Norris about the latest craze in making fun of him. He didn't even realize it's all making fun of him. He viewed it as complimentary and highly flattering. Further proof of how great he is, that he pretend to not be aware of the jokes. I personally think Jean Claude Van Damme should make him cry so we can have cancer cured.