Thursday, March 27, 2014

I'm going to Hawaii!

Come November, I'm spending a week in Hawaii! Woo-hoo! I just wanted to share my excitement...

Friday, February 14, 2014

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Seriously, though.  Who keeps farting?

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Someone farted.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Thank you, Waple

For still posting... I literally forgot this blog existed. How sad. In reviewing the posts I've missed, I have laughed out loud many times. Thanks for that.

We need to have a Collins reunion of sorts, maybe even in Bloomington. Everybody and not just the Chicagoans. Do I have to publish a book to make this happen? Fine, then I will...

Monday, September 16, 2013

I'm almost 30 and there's only one thing I want: You.

Saturday, September 07, 2013

One of the following three things is true:

1) I'm going to Nashville for New Year's Eve.
2) I'm going to get an STD in Nashville over New Year's Eve.
3) I have pants on.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Here's a fun one for all of you: I got dumped by a CONVICTED BANK ROBBER.  Man.  Even I can laugh at that.  That's hilarious.

SWM looking for SWF who hasn't RAB.

Friday, August 16, 2013

I wanted to make a fun post, so below are three things you should do today that will put a smile on your face or someone else's.  Try one of each today (Bonus: if you make someone else smile, it usually makes you smile, too.  The love you take is equal to the love you make.)

A smile for you:
1) Listen to this, breath deeply, and relax.
2) Count a few of your blessings.
3) Send money to yourself using your online banking app and for the message put "for being awesome."  It pays to be awesome.

A smile for someone else:
1) Make an origami samurai hat and put it on someone else.
2) Tell someone how much you care about them (as long as you actually care about them).
3) Tell someone this knock-knock joke: KNOCK-KNOCK.  Who's there?  INTERRUPTING COW.  Interrupting Co--MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Thursday, August 15, 2013

WOMEN.  AMIRIGHT?

Friday, June 07, 2013

Does anyone want my bean bag?  It's big, comfy, and hardly ever used.  I feel bad giving it to Goodwill because it's nice, but I don't really have the space.  It's denim and says "Bean's Bag" on it, cause my parents used to call me Andy Bean.  Takers?

Friday, November 09, 2012

Sunday, September 23, 2012

10 years ago.

What's your favorite memory from the college years?

Mine? "Two-day pass with camping? Horse shit!" That, and also the fact that I could leave my room at any moment and find all of my favorite people in one place.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Updates!

I love my new job. Grad school starts next week. My new car is fun to drive. I'm actively seeking a girlfriend, but I kind of throw around the idea of staying a bachelor because it's fun. I'm looking to move out in the next year provided my mom is good enough financially and physically to be on her own again. I write every day on my blog. I'm maintaining To a T's Twitter and Facebook pages. I haven't had much business, though. That's all I got. What about you? 

Monday, August 20, 2012

Phyllis Diller is Dead

Ummm... anyone else not know she was still alive?

Sunday, April 22, 2012

World Peace Threw an Elbow

You don't hear this too often... "That's absolutely disgraceful, the way World Peace threw that elbow."  Not very peaceful, huh?

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Dick Clark is dead

I had him on my list a couple years ago. Not this year. I suck at the Celebrity Death Pool.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Saturday Sadness

I worked from morning through the night on a Saturday yesterday. All I do is work. My life sucks. I hope your lives are better than mine.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Drama

Whenever I read in online profiles that a girl says she is "drama-free," I immediately assume she has a history of drama in her life. I don't mind drama. I plan to win an award for my performances in daily life.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Bodyguard Can't Stop That

None of us saw the death of Whitney Houston coming on our celebrity death pool lists! Crazy!