Jesus really IS everywhere! Even Bumblefuck, USA!
Hah. Can't find us out on my uncle's farm in southern IL, can you, Jesus?
I wish Jesus was here to help me cool my swamp ass. Instead, I'll have to struggle to funnel the a/c into my shorts. Nice.
At the Memphis Zoo. It's all Egyptian because Memphis is named after Memphis, Egypt. Highlight of the trip. Three words: Otters fighting Gibbons.
Don't let his cuteness fool you. He's got like 10 friends that'll beat your punk ass. It happened to a bunch of gibbons. Seriously.
Where you get herpes.
Stay classy, Conway.
While Mike was getting drunk off shitty booze, I chose to play it cool and just have some apple juice.
Mike tuning his guitar for NerdHero.
The competition was fierce for champion Nerd. Mike won.
Lowlight of the trip: Civil Rights Museum where Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed. My fault. I heard it was good. It was tons of reading and standing.
Note: it looks like Steve is saying something about the Motel sign, and I imagine it's something racist and offensive like, "Hey, I bet there's a vacancy now." Get it?
We ate at a famous burger joint downtown called Huey's. The burgers were good, but the best part was shooting toothpicks into the foam tile ceiling as you can Steve demonstrating. Beth approves.
We then stopped at the Peabody Hotel downtown to see the ducks that live in their fountain in the lobby. Don't ask.
On the roof of the Peabody. Nice photo ruined by a bunch of morons.
That's better. That's the Mighty Mississippi/Big Muddy/Old Man River in the background.
We found a time machine and jumped back to 1931 so I could get a black and white photo of downtown. AWESOME!
When we returned, we found that somehow we'd altered the space-time continuum so that all drinks only came in gallon buckets. AWESOMER! If only that were true and we weren't just on Beale Street drinking a gallon of booze in the middle of the day at a bar with goats...
Another great photo ruined by those same morons. Mike kept the bucket-o-booze.
At Rendezvous waiting for our table, which was reserved under the name "Bieznootz," per usual. And mispronounced, per usual. "By-ez-notz." Morons.
Back to Beale Street for a night photo.
If you want to know how big that thing is, go find out! It's got its own website! Bible Belt Five!