Thursday, September 18, 2008

Collins Columns

I was walking around my school the other day and somehow got the idea that all of us should write to the Collins Columns, assuming they still make it. I don't have the time to look into it, but my inital ideas were that we should either all write in and say ridiculous things about the real world and how amazing we're all doing thanks to college and Collins (full of exagerrations, for example, I just slayed a dragon while coming home from my Fortune 500 job with an Aston Martin I stole from James Bond after I killed him) or that we should all just write really ridiculous editorials about something or other, and all of our editorials would contradict one another. For example, someone could support Obama, while another would bash Obama and support McCain, stating similar but contradicting reasons for both (Obama sucks cock, McCain doesn't even know what a BJ is). Share your opinions.

Also, I miss Smith Ground.


Thom said...

That's a great idea! Unfortunately, The Collins Columns is amidst all sorts of controversy (more so than usual) as of late. Apparently, some new residents were "really offended" by a recent issue, causing all sorts of "community-building" debates about political correctness in dorm publications. In other words, now might not be the best time... or maybe it's the perfect time. *devious raised brow*

Michael said...

Come on. It's the perfect time. Smith Ground was like the breeding ground of Columns Controversy.

Do I really need to remind people of those two magic words? I'll give you a hint, they remind with "Mitch Quitter".

The new residents need to man up. Or just do like most people at Collins did and not read the columns.

(No offense intended Thom)*

* Okay, maybe just a teeny, tiny bit, but only 'cause I love ya.

Thom said...


Waple said...

How do you know there's controversy over the Columns right now? 'Splain.

Thom said...

Erin McD posted something about it on Facebook.

Danger said...

Since I'm not allowed to write one of the big stories, here is what I think, RE Collins Columns:

All of those jerkoff hippieasslesbian HolierThanThou don't shave/shower hate everyone girls in that dorm need a good sexing by one of us. By one of us I mean me. Once they realize that to be happy all they need to do is open up both literally and figuratively to the power of my ding dong, they will stop pissing in everyone's corn flakes. They will skip down the street (when they can walk again) and they will blow bubbles.

All of the bickering will stop, and peace will reign. My dong is like the Olympic Torch.

If hippie boys seem to be the problem, I propose the same sexing solution, but would delegate the task to Waple.

Thank you.

Let me write on the big thing.

I want to touch you.

Yeah, you.

Right there.

Look down.

That's where I wanna touch you.

Think about it.

Danger said...


What the hell is a community building debate? Can we go in there as community builders emeritus and show/tell them how it's done? Seriously. I propose we go there and camp out and declare ourselves the new Board of Directors. You guys work on setting up a Constitution while I make sure it will be ratified by members (a process which could include giving them the cream dream). There's no way this won't work. This is AMERICA!

When do I get to write on the big thing!