Tuesday, October 05, 2010

The Lo(a)ner

Dear *Insert Student Loan Company Name*:

Why, oh why, do you think I have money? I selected "income-contingent" because I thought you would realize I don't have a lot of money, but apparently you like getting all theoretical, annualizing money that I don't have, nay, never will have each year as you estimate the "fair" payments I should make each month. Hopefully, my latest letter to you will clear things up. Thank you for your time. And yes, I refuse to be your friend, you lo(a)ner.

Cordially,
The Borrower

P.S.-Somewhere stored away in a closet there is a piece of paper that I paid way too much money for and now I can't make a profit off it. It would've been a good investment had the economy decided to remain healthy. Bummer, just a bummer.

3 comments:

Waple said...

Great letter. Don't worry. Palmer said that anytime soon he's going to be super rich and he'll buy us all a new Smith Ground we can live on for free or close to free. You hear that, Johnboy? ANY TIME SOON.

Thom said...

I think he was planning on making millions before being 30-something. There's still time. I can't wait for the new Smith Ground!

Michael said...

P.S.-Somewhere stored away in a closet there is a piece of paper that I paid way too much money for and now I can't make a profit off it. It would've been a good investment had the economy decided to remain healthy. Bummer, just a bummer.

.. are you talking about Andrew's soul plate? Because I'm interested if you're looking to sell.