This one goes out to Rob...

Have you seen "The Wizard of Oz?" Surely you must have since you like "Wicked" so much. Remember that quote? How does it go? "Lions and tigers and..." What's that last one? "Lions and Tigers and..." Could it be Bears? Yeah, I think it's Bears. Da Bears! Hiyooooooooo!!!

The Weinberg!!!

Let's add Lauren Weinberg to this blog! She rocked out with the Bling a lot, right? Please do so! Oh, and I hope everything is going well for all of you. I wish we'd update more often...

No Man's Land

http://picasaweb.google.com/jwpalmer

yay!

Hi!!! look, I cut up all my old IU shirts that I never wear and sewed them into an awesome blankey!!!

The reverse side is made out of shirts from high school. I don't know how I've had time to do this, since I've been psychotically busy lately. I've had a super fun summer as a camp counselor at 2 different camps, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, plus still working at the Warming House (teen drop-in center) a couple nights a week. But this week camp comes to an end and I start orientation for SCHOOL!!! Classes officially start on monday, I'm kinda excited, kinda nervous about the workload. I'll be in class 8am-2pm monday and wednesday, I'm doing an internship at Catholic Charities doing foster care services (checking up on kids in homes, supervising parent visits, helping parents win their kids back in court, etc.) tuesdays and thursdays, I have to work 7 hours a week for the university for part of my scholarship 'cause I'm a graduate assistant, and I'll still be working at the Warming House probably 5 hours a week. Not to mention homework and social time with my chicago homies. So things will probably be a little crazy.
But it's all good 'cause Christina Aguilera's new cd came out last week and it's sooo awesome, and Danity Kane's cd comes out Aug. 22!!! For those of you who don't follow making the band 3, Danity Kane is the name of the girl group Diddy put together, and they're the best band ever. And Justin has a new cd coming out soon too!!!!!! Yay!
Plus thom, waple, mike, and rob and I are going to see Wicked sept. 30th, so excited to see everyone!!!
Hope everyone's well!

It's a mee! Mar.. er.. Mikeeoo!

So I've probably been one of the more delinquent members of the Gee when it comes to posting about what I'm doing (since I haven't) and keeping in touch (seeing as I don't, unless you live near me and invite me to something). But look! I'm posting now! Yay! Yay? Yay! I'm out in the 'burbs of chicagoland, about 15 minutes away from Andrew and Thom, 45 minutes or so from Sara (maybe? Sara, invite me to your house sometime so I can see how far away it is), living the high life.

No, it's not that i'm rich or anything. I just happen to live on the top floor of my apartment building. Ha HA! Comic genius!

I'm working for, of all things, a Japanese Model Train Company, doing advertising and warehouse work etcetera etcetera. I'm not going to be a millionaire or a thousandare, but it pays the bills and pays for my monthly alcohol purchases. Bonus! I guess it pays for food too, but meh.

Oh. And in case you didn't guess from the blinding light emanating from that shiny round thing in the picture above, I have no hair. Yes, after years of bitching about how I was going to go bald, I just said "screw it" and shaved it all off. Whee!

Anyway, I'll try to make an effort to read and publish on here more than once ... ever... I make no promises. Anyhoo. I miss everyone! If you're ever in the chicago area, drop by and give me a visit. Yes, that includes you, Andrew, Thom, and Sara. You have no excuse! Visit constantly!

Michael - signing out.

I always need more money

This is one of my favorite photos from the road trip, one of about 5oo I took that I still have to sort. Guess where his other shoe is! Oh Charles. We didn't see him for another 13 hours. I'll get to the others some time, it's just a matter of going from upright to seated.
I'm attending a substitute workshop today at my old high school, which hopefully will get me in as a sub in my district, cause it's the best paying district in the state. That means that in a year I MIGHT actually be able to move out and feel like I have a life again. Here's a list of my friends who have lives:

John - On his way to becoming a millionaire, owns a car, has his own place, and will be in the largest city in the U.S. in a year
Sara - Going to grad school for another couple years of fun without me
Thom - Moving up the ladder as an editor and also owns a car. Did I mention he has written a book?
Rob - He doesn't read this blog so it's okay to say he's an idiot, but he is ALSO going to grad school for two years of fun without me* (3 years in rob time)
Steve - Also has his own place, is working a couple jobs, and gets a lot of sex, apparently, also without me.
Ric - Dancing up a storm in New York or somewhere out east where he's learning all sorts of stuff and then moving to some other place and going to Utah to meet up with some dude who's somehow more awesome than me, and making lots of new friends.
Ben - I have no idea where he is, but I do know he is learning a lot of languages and having all sorts of unique experiences around the world and not telling us all about them cause he's probably too busy to do things like check blogs, talk to friends, but not too busy to make out with a pizza guy in an elevator. I'm not gay and even I'd do that. That's what I'm talking about, unique experiences that you can't have anywhere else in the world but Beirut. Or America. Or Europe. Whatever.
Sarood - Probably making lots of money making his nose even browner than it was before.
Other friends - Owning cars, working lots of money, moving to cool places like Chicago or changing their lives.
I'm working, yes, but it's not a job. It's not a career. I need money to get out of here and move downtown or to Seattle or something and try to figure something out. You know how you start questioning whether you even know yourself when you've been down for a while? I just need a teaching job and I'll feel better. I might as well buy a lottery ticket while I'm at it since lightning strikes twice, or never strikes twice. I don't know. I don't care. Go look it up on wikipedia.

this is it

It would be a strangely cool summer night on Friday the 23rd, but filled with electricity. John Walter Palmer, Charles Ainsworth Benson, and Andrew W. Waple were setting off on their Road Trip. For two glorious weeks, they will traverse all of what America, The Beautiful, has to offer. Out west they will travel until the land's end and then back again. On the way they will be slaying modern dragons: Vegas, The Price Is Right, Gas Prices, Mormons (actually slaying), Boredom, and Ultimate Extreme Adventure. I wish you could all go along with us, but the fact is that not everyone is cut out for life on the road. And all you weren't available, and we can only fit so many people in a car, and I was really scraping the bottom of the barrel with John and Charles anyway, and some people get car sick, and I know I can be very annoying at times and run on tangents, and Charles goes a little nuts with all his hiking, and John sucks (see post below), and there's not much room in the car with my huge dong in the way, and I love Big League Chew.
I can't wait to see what the rest of the country is like. I'll be thinking about you all as we make our way around to Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, South Dakota, and... IOWA!!!! Home of the... state that borders Illinois! How interesting!
Hope to see you all soon.

Love,
Andrew

Sorry to do this here, but it's necessary.

I'm cleansing. Bear with me.


OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

These are the certainties of my life for which I have become extremely aware. If you are a friend of mine, you will nod to one, many, or all of these things. I'm not happy with the way my life is going, and I recognize the following truths:

-I am a terrible friend. See rest of list for details.

-I do not allocate my time in a way that is fit to allow for the return of phone calls, party invitations, or hangout time. The best way I've found to handle this is to work in groups of people.

-I cannot, for the life of me, balance everything I want to do.

-Because of this lack of balance, I try to do everything and fail at most things I attempt, while only barely succeeding in a few. I tend to prioritize these things ahead of my friends, and ahead of time for myself.

-Despite how well I fake it, I do not have my shit together. I'm working on it, but my relationships with those important to me (you all) are taking the toll, and have been for some time.

Why would I post such a personal thing here? Well, for the most part, for therapeutic value.

If you're reading this, it means I have had some significant interaction with you that has had a strong bearing on my life to this point, whether that interaction is still going today is irrelevant. You being able to see this message is my note of thanks to you for helping sculpt the positive points of my life to where it is today.

Now, this should also not be taken as a cry for help. I am not trying to get sympathy or "get well soon" cards. This is simply what it is, an announcement so that you all know that I'm about to completely overhaul my life, and I'm not sure where I'm going to turn out.

Ulitmately, this is also a public apology for all of you whom I've irritated by not keeping in touch or spending enough time with you; I've certainly destroyed enough amazing potential friendships this way. While I can't promise it will change, I can promise that I still will do what I can, when I can.

Mind the gap.

Remember when I ordered pizza for the first time all by myself, sophomore year? I was so proud of myself I kept the receipt and it's still in my room somewhere right now. Actually, I think I only ordered pizza one time after that, I still get super nervous everytime I have to pick up the phone.
But since graduating college, I have consistently ordered pizza every wednesday night (it's part of my job at the teen center, wednesday is free pizza night), I've been calling dominoe's so much I even have their phone number memorized! Ohhh how I've grown up. Maybe one of these days I'll conquer my fear of ordering other types of food too, like sandwiches, or ooooooo maybe even chinese food! mmmmm. One day.

A medley

Thom's post has inspired me to give an update on my life. After the wonderful Little 500 weekend, I had an internship at the 9th Annual Chicago Improv. Festival. I worked for 5 days and had a couple complimentary workshops. I got to work backstage at a lot of really cool shows and meet all sorts of famous people, especially in the improv community, but the notent notables were: Horatio Sanz, Mo Collins, Emo Phillips, and Peter Grosz (if you know Peter Grosz, you have my respect).
Here's me with all the MadTV stars after I got to interview them. They were pointing at me cause I asked them "Who's the funniest person in America?"
It was a great week, though busy and filled with lots of commuting my first Chicago parking ticket ($50 fucking dollars for forgetting to write a date on my parking pass), and trucking around lots of fluids including beer, water, and Red Bull, as they were sponsoring the Festival.
I also got some good news yesterday that Oak Park high school has a Psychology position open. I am going in to speak to them Wednesday morning so hopefully I'll get offered a position. It'll probably be part time, but still something I'll consider as it's in the area of Chicago that I want to live in and if I can get a full time position later it'll totally be bad ass. Temporarily, I also got a new serving job as the restaurant I'm in now is closing. I'll be working at Arlington Racetrack and getting shift pay rather than tips! I'll make 144.50 for a 9 hour shift and the best part is that I'll be out by 7pm, meaning I'll finally get to have a consistent social life. Hooray! The bad news is that orientation was sunday morning from 9-3 and I COMPLETELY forgot about it. I'm a jerk.
Here is a photo of me from Little 5 weekend, getting down with my buddy Pringles. Fact: I was not drunk.


And here's Rob. Fact: Rob was drunk. Notice the wet spot. Fact: Rob is not graduating.

That's it, I call "uncle."

I give up. Thom, you're writing my paper for me.

It's due in 4 hours, and I'm on page 3 of 20. I can't seem to get my head going and motivation for any sort of work is out the window. This is the last big project of my college career, and it's the "big one"- my senior capstone.

No motivation. at. all.

So. Thom, I just need to you come up with a quick little 17-page bit about waveform analysis and matching with regard to audio retreival, matching, and voice identification. The demo website we used is:

www.overtone.com

If you could just e-mail that to me by 11:45 tonight, that'd be swell. That'll give me time to turn it in.

Thanks, I'm going to Yogi's.

Don't forget to remember what you choose to forget

Hello. I just felt like saying that. The title of this post is one mind-fuck, isn't it? Anyways, wasn't it spectacular and/or awkward seeing so many people from our collective college pasts all at once during Little 500 weekend? Good times. Let's stay in touch. Through this blogger. Yeah. That's all I got.

Yeah, it must be April.

...because I know I've been hella-busy with stuff. I'm sure we all are. I am glad to see we finally got Steve on board, though.


I also wanted to share this picture of Mr. T here. He pities us all.

dear smith ground...

Holy crap my grad school campus is spectacular. I finally made up my mind that I'm going to Loyola University Chicago in the fall to do my masters in social work, so I went to go check out the campus today. Holy crap. The school of social work is in a building called the Lewis Towers, and on the first floor of the building is the Hershey's Store!!!! AND right across the street is the Ghirardelli chocolate store!!! AAAND, across the street the other way is the Godiva chocolate store!!!!! :::droooool:::, sooooo excited. I'm gonna eat so much chocolate next year. Oh, not to mention the campus is located next to Water Tower on Michigan Ave., the most AMAZING shopping area in chicago. And there's also a Cheesecake Factory across the street as well, in case I feel like eating cheesecake one day instead of just chocolate.
I know you're all soooo jealous, haha!

Man arrested in robbery at Peoples Bank

whaaaaaatttt? can someone tell me if this is the maggy baurley we all know and love?

-JP
----

Ryan P. Mobley, 21, taken into custody after appearing at hearing on other charges
By James Boyd
812/331-4370 | jboyd@heraldt.com
March 15, 2006

In the past week, Detective Sarah Carnes has cracked more cases than a luggage salesman.

The latest came Tuesday morning, with the arrest of a man accused of robbing the Peoples State Bank, 200 E. Kirkwood Ave., on March 2.

Ryan P. Mobley, 21, faces a preliminary charge of robbery after he was taken into custody at the Monroe County Justice Building, where he was appearing Tuesday morning on unrelated felony charges.

Bloomington police Detectives Carnes and Kevin Hill went to the Justice Building Tuesday after receiving several tips that Mobley had committed the robbery.

The callers said that Mobley had been bragging about getting away with the robbery, and had been flashing around several thousand dollars, Bloomington Police Department Detective Sgt. David Drake said.

Detectives pulled a previous mug shot of Mobley from the county’s electronic database and compared it with a surveillance tape taken from the robbery.

Drake said the mug shot was then given to one of the bank’s tellers, who identified Mobley out of a photo lineup.

Carnes tried to track Mobley down, but had a hard time doing so, since Mobley had no permanent address listed.

She checked court records and found Mobley had a court date Tuesday morning, where he was appearing on charges of forgery and theft.

Immediately following the hearing, Mobley was taken into custody and brought to Bloomington police headquarters for questioning.

There he denied any involvement in the incident, and provided an alibi. But Drake said authorities had checked out Mobley’s alibi and determined it to be false.

Carnes also investigated Friday’s robbery of the Regions Bank on College Mall Road. Margaret S. Baurley, 21, was arrested early Sunday morning in connection with that heist.

Authorities are still searching for the man who robbed the Monroe Bank on West Third Street Jan. 25.

I fail at bdays, and bats

So I wanna apologize for being a slacker at celebrating birthdays this semester. I totally didn't do anything for mike's or rick's back in january, and this past wednesday was whitney's and I had this great plan to put a post on the blog saying happy bday so everyone could respond and send him bday wishes, but unfortunately there is a bat flying around my basement waiting to suck my blood. How does this relate, you ask? Well the computer with internet is located in the basement, and when I was descending the steps on monday to check my email after work, a freaky winged creature was flying around in circles at the bottom of the steps, waiting for me. I screamed and quickly ran upstairs, closing the door behind me, trapping the bat in the basement. Apparently I'm scared to death of bats and I had no idea, since I'd never seen one before. And since my parents are in vegas all week, I'm on my own to defend myself from it. So logically, my solution was to not go into the basement ever ever again. That would've been fine if the wireless internet on my mom's laptop, located upstairs, hadn't failed, leaving me without access to this blog on whitney's bday, and the only way to fix it would be to go into the basement with the bat, unplug and replug all the cables and restart the computer. So that's why I couldn't wish whitney a happy bday on wednesday.
However, I've been taking baby steps to get over my fear of the bat, whom I've named Martin. Everyday while he's sleeping I've been going downstairs and looking at him, and taking a couple steps closer and closer, and today I finally made it all the way over to the computer to fix the internet problem. So here I am, on the basement computer typing this entry while Martin is sleeping a mere few yards away from me, hanging from a window shudder. He actually looks kinda cute. I'm still not brave enough to shove him in a box and take him upstairs and throw him out the front door though, maybe tomorrow when my parents come back.
But anyway, shout out to all the march birthdays, whitney, john, steve, and also the jan and feb bdays I missed: ricky, mike, and randall. And most importantly, chuck norris, who's bday is today.

forget-me-nots

Shouldn't we add steve and ric to this? I say we not let them join till we get a 2/3 majority vote. And of course we'll need to vote on whether or not to accept or reject the 2/3 majority vote process, and given any rejections, a proposal for a new method. Only then can we vote on the additions of said members. I vote against the process, since it's an unnecessary piece of the puzzle and hence also vote against steve and ric. Mostly because voting is for losers.

When the boogey man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Thanks COMPLETELY to Whitney- OH EM GEE.

---
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.

Jack Bauer let the dogs out.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

Deaf people listen to Jack Bauer.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

(Roarrr!)

And so forth. Anyways, I'm leaving in two weeks for Alexandria, where I'll be for 2.5 months, after which I may be staying for a longer period of time in another scary country or doing whatever I can to avoid suburban America. I have a strange aluminum taste in my mouth that i have to get rid of.
So if you guys (namely you guys in Chicago) want to do something in Chicago sometime within the next 2 weeks, let's-talk-why-not. Until then, etc.

How I got a new iPod for $11.14

Some of you may know that my one-year old iPod has been giving me fits for the last couple months. It's only a year old and was in previously good condition until the hard drive started going loopy on me. I have also met other people with the same generation iPod that are having the same damn problem. I was worried and wondering what I'd do without a fully functioning pod. Well. After expressing this problem to a couple of my friends, one of them alerted me to the fact that since it was purchased from CostCo, that I could simply bring it in and get a new one. Of course, I was very skeptical. He told me stories though of how friends of his had gone in with items -- old flat-screen monitors that no longer worked and walked out with two brand-spanking new monitors; even a guy with a cd he purchased there and said to them "I hate this cd" and they gave him his money back. So today, with receipt and membership card in hand, I went in, gave up my baby Murray for adoption (or so it felt), kissed him goodbye, and kissed my $304.50 (bling bling) hello. I then proceeded to high-step/dance my way around the store flaunting my money and filled out the form for my iPod. "Item #: 911614. Item description: Apple iPod music player 30 gigs of awesomeness yeah." After paying the difference of 11 american dollars I had my new iPod. Not only new, but better. It is a video iPod, 30 gigs, and replaces my uncolored 20 gig unvideo iPod. Thank GOD for CostCo. If ANYONE here is considering buying any electronics in the future and has a CostCo near them, the membership is $45 per year and that includes their super awesome warranty that lets you return any items (other than food) that suck. I'm ecstatic.
Now here is a picture of an angry black woman:

She is angry because she did not purchase her iPod at CostCo.

Holy rusted metal!

That was the most incredible play last night, by an IU grad nonetheless. Go Steelers!

Chuck Norris is watching us, Chuck Norris is watching us... Chuck Norris is watching us from a distance.

I heard they interviewed Chuck Norris about the latest craze in making fun of him. He didn't even realize it's all making fun of him. He viewed it as complimentary and highly flattering. Further proof of how great he is, that he pretend to not be aware of the jokes. I personally think Jean Claude Van Damme should make him cry so we can have cancer cured.

Hey, remember that time when Mike kicked in Rob's door?

Or that time when Brad's room was filled with balloons?

Or that time I disappeared, twice?

Or... you get the point.

I miss college.

Yah, I am Hans, De Fastest Rider-Vou Shoult All Let Me Ride My Bicycle in Circles, Yah?

Here's a letter I almost submitted to the IDS- I'm still on the fence about it because the rule has been officially instituted at this point..under the noses of the masses, as usual. That's how we do things at IU.

Back 30 years ago, you might say the little 500 was in the height of its participation on campus. 80+ teams each year would attempt to qualify in what is known internationally as the “world’s greatest college weekend.” It’s the reason students go crazy almost the full week leading up to the two races, taking part in drinking heavily and attending concerts with big headliners. The traditions surrounding the race are steeped heavily in the structure and rules laid out in its formation in 1919.

IUSF has come into question with recent changes to the race’s format- last year’s repeated changing of the gearing of bikes for the women’s race, disqualification of the director of Team Major Taylor, and now the biggest change yet- allowing category 1 and 2 riders to enter the race (ids articles 1|2). The United States Cycling Federation, which licenses most cyclists in the country, has 5 categories- once a rider wins enough races to get to a 1 or 2 status, they’re considered “professional.” Until now, only categories 3 to 5 were allowed in the race.

The issues here are many- the first being that the rule itself makes exception for the very people trying to institute it, as they either already fall under category 2 status or will next year. The rider’s council is dominated by top-tier teams, which is hardly representative of the array of riders who participate each year- how can this change be made without the rule-makers only benefiting themselves? Even if a change like this is implemented, the appropriate thing to do is to implement it retroactively.

Finally, consider the changes the rule itself makes. In more recent years, the field has barely been able to be filled for the women’s race and only ends up cutting a few extra teams from those who attempt to qualify in the men’s. Cycling has gotten more advanced- it’s getting harder for new teams to enter the race and be successful, and now they want new riders to try and compete with professionals?

The foundations of this race were not to rocket athletes into cycling fame. It was about a group of guys, riding around a building in the Collins (MRC) courtyard. What a way to disgrace Howdy Wilcox and everyone else who helped root and grow the little 500 into what it is today.

Engarde!

Engarde! I am writing stuff. I have accepted your challenge. But to what end? I'll tell you what end! Some other time. Right now I have to find that piece of floss which is always hiding in the dark recesses of my mind. You know that one? Maybe not, but whenever it is plucked (as the string on a violin), I find myself writing something of this order. Yesterday it was playing Mozart.

bling bling.

i wish more people would write stuff here.

bling bling.

i wish more people would write stuff here.

I've got nothing of relevance to say.

So who'd be up for joining waple on a road trip across the country this summer? If we take a van we can fit up to 7 people (not recommended and I don't have a van), but more than one car might also be a bad idea. I don't know a damn thing about any of my plans except they would take place in the summer and most likely hinge on me having a job lined up for the coming school year already. I would want to visit the southeast (Mississippi, etc), the northwest (so I can pee on canada), and the new england area if possible (so I can spread the news that I peed on canada).
Other than that, I really need to get a job. Why do I feel like that's painting myself into a corner? Jobs require lots of time and work and are taken to provide money. With more money comes more spending (and mo' problems* see Notorious B.I.G.). Jobs eliminate free time/post-pone it for a later date. Why not just not take a job, spend less money, and have all the free time one wants? And does anyone notice how all the people on the show The Real World now lead quite unreal lives? Every time I switch on MTV they're playing some dumbass team games for money surrounded by beautiful people on some tropical beach. The unfortunate ones give talks across the country for big bucks. Where is this a REAL WORLD? One of the many reasons I hate MTV. Moron TV (and we sometimes play noise, which some call "music"). Whores. This sucks.
And as for my dating life, my last date was with my grandma last weekend. No joke.
I can't flip off the world hard enough.
Hope everyone is well.
Love,
Waple

What I did this New Year's...

"Damn, I spent all my money on homeless people." -Thom