Thank you, Waple

For still posting... I literally forgot this blog existed. How sad. In reviewing the posts I've missed, I have laughed out loud many times. Thanks for that.

We need to have a Collins reunion of sorts, maybe even in Bloomington. Everybody and not just the Chicagoans. Do I have to publish a book to make this happen? Fine, then I will...

I'm almost 30 and there's only one thing I want: You.

One of the following three things is true:

1) I'm going to Nashville for New Year's Eve.
2) I'm going to get an STD in Nashville over New Year's Eve.
3) I have pants on.

Here's a fun one for all of you: I got dumped by a CONVICTED BANK ROBBER.  Man.  Even I can laugh at that.  That's hilarious.

SWM looking for SWF who hasn't RAB.

I wanted to make a fun post, so below are three things you should do today that will put a smile on your face or someone else's.  Try one of each today (Bonus: if you make someone else smile, it usually makes you smile, too.  The love you take is equal to the love you make.)

A smile for you:
1) Listen to this, breath deeply, and relax.
2) Count a few of your blessings.
3) Send money to yourself using your online banking app and for the message put "for being awesome."  It pays to be awesome.

A smile for someone else:
1) Make an origami samurai hat and put it on someone else.
2) Tell someone how much you care about them (as long as you actually care about them).
3) Tell someone this knock-knock joke: KNOCK-KNOCK.  Who's there?  INTERRUPTING COW.  Interrupting Co--MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

WOMEN.  AMIRIGHT?

Does anyone want my bean bag?  It's big, comfy, and hardly ever used.  I feel bad giving it to Goodwill because it's nice, but I don't really have the space.  It's denim and says "Bean's Bag" on it, cause my parents used to call me Andy Bean.  Takers?